Every person that walks on this earth has been hurt by another person. As humans it is an unavoidable consequence of human reaction, within the pull and want of wills, conflict will arise. So what do we do with this hurt? Do we have options?
I say yes, we do have options. The first is to become bitter. Now let me explain my definition of bitterness. Bitterness is the outcome of constant meditation on the negative things in life, pain, anger, resentment, etc. Now there are those who are capable of only having that bitterness towards the one who hurt them, or at the least they think they do. However bitterness, like hate, is a disease of the mind and it will seep into all aspects of thinking. Soon that bitterness will go from hating that one person to all people that remind you of that person to all people of that gender, or that job, or however else that person can be generalized. It will spread from there and one day you will find yourself being called the negative nuisance of your office. What a lot of people don’t realize is that bitterness can also wreck havoc on your physical health just as much as it can your mental and emotional health. There are numerous studies out there of how any type of negativity in the mind effects the physical well being of people, google it if you don’t believe me.
The other option is to let it go, forgive and forget but don’t fail to learn from it.
I feel that there is a lot of confusion on the concept of forgive and forget.
The forgiving part is something that people feel is easy enough to understand but forgetting is not an option for some.
This saying in my opinion does not mean forget the lesson it taught you, it is saying forget the hatred and bitterness that you feel for the action. Because if you forgive and you don’t forget, then you truly haven’t forgiven, make sense?
I have learned many hard lessons in my past, but I can easily say there are only two that I can think of where I am still learning the forgive and forget part, and I am not a young adult.
Let me give you a quick example so that you can understand what I am trying to say.
Forgiving and Forgetting while still learning a lesson is being able to say, “oh I wont do this because there are people out there who are not considerate when it comes to this.” …Notice I didn’t use a names, I generalized and I said it with grace (this takes practice but is doable.)
When you say you forgive but can’t forget than it will usually end up sounding more like this, “oh I wont do this because so and so did this to me.” Sounds pretty bitter right?
The goal is to forgive the actions of others so that you can forget the hatred toward the person and learn the lesson the trial has taught you.
I pray that everyone has a blessed day. 🙂